Category: Chronic Illness

On Dependency

I am dependant. The truth is that none of us are independent. However, I am more dependant than most. This is one of the hardest parts of my illness to confront, in part because I grew up in an abusive household where any small need was a burden that was met with violence. I learned at a young age to hide and deny my human vulnerability and needs. I had to depend on myself for basic survival and also...

more…

Chronic Illness

Weaving Fabric, Weaving Health

Those of you who follow my art making account on Instagram will notice I haven’t done any encaustic in a while. Unfortunately, my health has plummeted, again, as it does every year around this time, and encaustic work requires a certain baseline amount of energy that I don’t have. I’ve had to adjust to art forms that are doable from bed. Encaustic is definitely not one of them!

more…

Artwork, Chronic Illness
photo of Gayla Trail

Disabled

I’m disabled. I know I’ve used the word before, but there’s still much resistance, the result of an internalized ableism that I’m still trying to disentangle from 6.5 years in. I resist because I know that culturally, societally, my value has diminished and using the word feels like handing over a weapon to use against me.

more…

Chronic Illness